Titbits — Handbags, prize gags and glow-in-the-dark posters

■ Though competition was stiff, the award for this month’s most laboured joke goes to Cllr Abraham Jacobson. Taking aim at Cllr Burke’s calculations he said loudly across a packed council meeting: “I think you have pick and mixed your figures, well I’m sorry, but Woolworths has closed.”

■ Cabinet Member for Finance, Cllr Geoff Taylor proved himself to be worthy of both the abacus and a Titbits mention when he diligently declared his Freedom Pass as a pecuniary interest during a discussion on London fare freezes.

■ Will Mayor Pipe and Cllr Steinberger ever patch things up? Their latest slanging match over Woodberry Down suggests not. “Calm down, sweetheart,” Steinberger told the enraged mayor before dashing out the door. So, with the last word forced upon him, Pipe asked if someone with a “modicum of knowledge” could make the speeches in future. Handbags indeed.

■ Glow-in-the-dark signs featuring a pair of eyes and the warning: ‘Thoughtless dog owners, we’re watching you’ have, according to the Town Hall, seen incidents of dog fouling drop by 30 per cent (pity the soul who collects that data). But are the ‘edgy and uncompromising’ signs scaring the owners into action or  just putting off the pooches from doing their business?