Knigel Knapp: Monster Raving Loony parliamentary candidate for Hackney North
Knigel Knapp, Knight of the UnKnown Photo: davidxgreen.com
Knigel Knapp is the Monster Raving Loony party Shadow Minister for Blatant Lies and Big Fibs.
Knigel Knapp said, “I sing in a band called The Big Fibbers. At last. An honest politician. I’m going to be honest about the fact that I’m lying.
“Vote for me and I’ll make the world a better place, give everyone a free banana, do anything you want me to (all lies, lies, lies). Don’t normally vote – well, don’t vote normally – vote for the Monster Raving Loony party!
“A vote for The Monster Raving Loony party is the perfect protest vote.”
Some manifesto promises (or big fibs)
Transport
We will ban the bendy bus. They are too big and bendy – and they don’t even make accordian noises when they go round corners.
We want to bring in more cycle ways – across the rooftops of London.
We will build more canals (which will be good for the unemployment figures) and promote the use of floating bicycles.
Economy
The Tories say vote for change – we say No! We will bring in a 99p coin.
Law and order
We will abolish ASBOs and instead superglue young offenders together. If you can’t beat them – we’re not allowed to – join them.
Find out more about Knigel Knapp.